Overexcitable

Talking with my coach today about my resistance to being classified or fitting in to any system, we noted that I turn into a five-year-old when backed into a corner. I metally throw a tantrum and drum my heels on the floor when people are saying things that don't acknowledge my experience, which happens all the time, of course. It's pretty exhausting and it makes me feel totally powerless. I even start moaning and holding my head sometimes which is very alarming for my boyfriend and my dog.

My inquiry this week is to find out what I can appreciate about this part of my personality and how I can get it working on my goals instead of sticking its tongue out at them. Entrepreneurship is a great way to find out more things about myself!

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Thinking today about systems, systems, everywhere. Is it a strange quirk of my brain that I connect everything to everything? I adore systems because they make everything into bigger ideas, and I lurve big ideas. I hate systems because they can be completely inflexible and maladaptive and punishing.

New idea popped up today - what if this relationship I have with systems exists only because I am fighting my own system of thought? Is my being rebelling against my mind's symbolic representations of reality, and this is manifesting itself as an external relationship with systems? Makes sense to me.

Or perhaps I'm just procrastinating by making these kinds of esoteric connections when I should be writing. That also makes sense.

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There's an online conference on very young gifted children in progress right now, and I'm receiving all the email. It's fascinating to see how parents are reacting to their gifted kids and it's got me musing about my own childhood.

I'm reading of some parents being worried that their kids will be bored in school if they teach them too much math/reading/fill in the blank. Some are saying that kids need to learn to deal with boredom! Some are saying it's important for social skills. The guest expert is quite rightly saying that options need to be explored and needs meet, often in a non-traditional way.

What I'm wondering is whether the No Child Left Behind legislation in the USA is producing more children who are bored in school and therefore a greater interest in and need for accomodation. A parent has also pointed out the vast difference between educational theory and practice, something I have noticed and wondered about. How can we ever progress when the systems set up to serve students are so debilitating, to students, parents, and teachers?

Despite best intentions of all concerned, it seems that the school system might have had its day, because it is based on a 19th century organizational model. Like modern corporations, these are very hard for the people who work in them, because the difference between modern thought and leisure and the reality of work or school is becoming wider and wider.

What to do? I think that the rise in homeschooling and self employment is showing that people can no longer tolerate these systems, and they must change or perish. But this has been true for a long time. Business thought and training is still based on a corporate model, at least that which I have been exposed to. I hope we can reach a tipping point soon.

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I think the equinox has just sent me into some kind of business orbit. Things are happening really fast, I'm writing like crazy and STILL have more to say. I have discovered I work best in the "Coffice" - this is a word I have made up to describe any coffee shop where I can comfortably sit with my laptop for a couple of hours and pay people to bring me hot beverages at regular intervals. Of course it requires getting dressed, but it makes me feel like a productive member of the human race.

I'm not the only one using this strategy to get stuff done - today I noticed a guy who clearly had spit-up on his T-shirt typing away in the corner. I live with 3 kids under 6 upstairs, so I shot him a sympathetic look and we shared a rueful smile. It was just like a commercial.

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The vital role of mentor is something that our society in North America is having to institutionalize in order to get it done. Rather than discuss the reasons why this is so, I've found a way to help.

Big Brothers and Big Sisters have an in-school mentoring program. They have specifically identified the gifted kids that need mentors, so if you have an hour a week to spare, find out how you can help. Just say that you want to mentor gifted kids and they will be delighted to place you. Gifted kids need all the positive gifted role models they can get.

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I had to look up the spelling of competence; does this disqualify me from posting about it? I'm going take the fact that my computer hasn't exploded as a divine endorsement of this post.

I'm feeling fabulous because today I changed my own tire for the first time ever. I came out of the gym and saw that I had a flat. Instead of having a panic, bursting into tears, and phoning my boyfriend for help, I calmly whipped out the spare and the jack and got to work. Apart from having to borrow a gorgeous man with big muscles to loosen the nuts, I did it all by myself.

Apparently this shifted some kind of internal block, because a couple of hours later after meeting my buddy I had an epiphany. Too soon to share, but it basically involves some writing and some meeting to do a whole lot of good in the world of the gifted.

The moral of this story is.....doing something a tiny bit scary and getting it right gives the Big Scary Idea permission to come out. So do something scary today!

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There have been many trite and annoying things written about gratitude, and I must admit I used to have a very cynical attitude to the whole gratitude movement. I used to think that people were being very unrealistic by believing that the very act of gratitude would increase abundance and happiness.

Then, I started to read about quantum mechanics, and religious texts, and general spirituality, and the stuff that used to sound trite and annoying began to seem very deep and true. The more I live in the moment, the more I feel blessed and lucky, and create my reality from that place. Happiness is a journey, constantly evolving as I myself evolve. I am vastly grateful to have had the ability to learn that.

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PS if you have a couple of minutes to spare, help out with a student research project - it's quick, easy, and it'll make his day! - take survery

Yesterday we went to a park - my boyfriend played soccer and I laid on the grass and watched the clouds. There were some fantastic clouds over Vancouver, subtle white drifts floating against a power-blue sky. In this moment I figured out that I need to write a series of articles, basically, the Gifted Grown-up's Survival Guide ( patterned after the popular books for kids and teens). This is a big job but AFAIK no-one else has done it yet - I wonder why? Maybe it will become obvious once I start writing!

Anyway I know I certainly would have hoovered that stuff up at the beginning of my exploration of giftedness. So I'm going to write, and see what happens. At the very least it will be a validation and celebration of everything I have learned over the past ten years.

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It's strange how much of what I read about gifted people seems to be so superficial. The main difference IMO is their interest in, and access to, higher levels of development. Gifted people need validation and resources in this area that aren't being delivered, in my experience. Often this part of being human is farmed out to religions, whose systems can be unacceptable and higher levels found wanting.

Most of the advocacy out there is for providing an appropriate education for gifted kids, and there's nothing wrong with this. After all the education system we have is geared toward the business system that we have, meaning success in one means success in the other. And material, here-and-now success does have some value.

But, and it's a big but, this is only a small piece of the puzzle. Should we require gifted kids to do their own searching, as a character-building developmental exercise? We don't do that with academic information. Perhaps we should at least give them an idea of where to start and some tools for the inward journey.

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It finally happened - the meditation video tape I have used every day for about five years finally gave up and released its own atoms into the Void (it didn't explode, it just doesn't work). So today I went off tape and just sat there on the floor in my living room. Doing nothing and feeling conspicuous even though I was in the privacy of my own home, my boyfriend was still asleep, and the dog wasn't even looking at me.

Having used this tape so much, I was able to hear it in my head without effort and go through the same routine to start with. Near the end when Rodney Yee says "your conciousness dissolves, like a light.." I went ahead and dissolved as normal....but without the tape hurrying me on to the next thing, I stayed dissolved and looked around a while. It was awesome. I have no idea how long I sat there, not being a clock person or even believing in time at all, but it felt like eternity. And that's the point!

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I'm sure that there is some deep pyschological motive underlying my inability to get excited about housework. I mean, it's very Zen isn't it? Chop wood, carry water and all that. Perhaps if I can reframe it as a spiritual exercise I will be more enthusiastic about it.

What about starting a new movement about it? The perfection of the soul through the perfection of the house. Hang on, though, it's been done, in many cultures, most lately by North America in the terrifying form of Martha Stewart and even online by FlyLady.

OK, well perhaps I will have to use some other onerous task to access that eternal bliss conciousness. Bookeeping! That's it! I'll keep you posted.

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It's a jungle out there in the land of websites. Many people who are starting businesses are looking for web contractors, and just like building contractors, they vary widely in their expertise and ethics. I really hate seeing people get taken! If you don't know what you are buying, don't buy it. Go away, educate yourself, and then you will be able to make an informed decision. If you don't, you will be paying for that education by buying something that isn't right for you. Both methods are valid - but when just starting out, which do you have more of, time or money?!

In general the anger seems to be back. I'm having trouble accepting that the world is not run how I would run it. This anger resurfaces every couple of months, when things just aren't living up to my expectations. I can't change the world, so I have to change my expectation, and I don't want to! There are millions of gifted people out there who can and do try to make a difference for all of us. But I've still got to pull in my wings or I'll go crazy. Why does this feel like giving up? Grrrr!

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Today I am modelling an extremely important part of being gifted - how to retain sanity in the face of a huge, dysfunctional world that pings my emotions constantly. I've got to pull in the wings a bit, stop taking in so much.

This means: get up before everyone else in the house and meditate; eat a light, healthy breakfast, and drink lots of water; exercise like a fiend to get those endorphins pumping; more water, plus a banana; work a little; sing along to favourite song on the radio; cuddle the dog; eat a good lunch, preferably high protein low fat; ....I could go on but you get the idea. Physical, mental, spiritual health must be my No.1 priority especially when I feel like I am so busy I don't have time.

My business is really getting going and I am tempted to turn into a BusinessBot - to talk and think about nothing else! But I must walk my talk, and anyway I can't sustain BusinessBot mode for long before I'm lying on the floor in Emergency Deep Breathing mode. So I'm gonna go with the flow, taking care of my primary business asset - me!

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Went to the Fringe and am again struck by the differences between people. We got a big group together and picked the tickets out of a hat - I ended up at Jem Rolls. He's a brilliant performance poet and I absolutely adored the torrent of images and connections that poured from him in a desperate need to be heard, released from him into the world. The people I was with didn't all feel the same way - it was one of those things that you either relate to instantly or it is just noise. That's OK, though - it's what the Fringe is all about. Pushing the boundaries of taste and experience, one person at a time. As an agent of social change, though, I think it's quite effective - people are more prepared to be entertained than preached at.

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It's amazing how we who have so much technology at our fingertips still need to set up face-to-face meetings. If I have anything that needs discussion or input or sales skills, that's the way I prefer to operate, at least the first time I work with a new contact. It's the fastest way to establish a connection - once the relationship has been established, somehow it's easier.

Anyway I've recently become part of a success team of other coaches who are learning about the business of being a coach through doing it. It's really valuable to have people cheering for me and giving me great feedback on my website and telling me what's not working. I love this strategy and give kudos to Barbara Sher for coming up with this idea. Resistance to change is inevitable but with the momentum of a group behind me I'm way more effective. She had some fabulous strategies for evading our gremlins that I use in my coaching.

Anyway all this meeting means I need a haircut! Gotta care about how I look which doesn't come naturally, but it's part of business. I do most of my work in sweats, which is one of the great joys of working at home. Long live small business!

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Katrina means pure. This is appropriate on many levels. The hurricane was a pure expression of nature exposing the hubris of mankind and causing pure terror and death - the cataclysmic beginning of a new cycle. Perhaps what we can learn from this experience is some lessons about ourselves that are hard to hear, as well as confirmation of the strength and dignity of humanity as we all do all we can to help each other at this time.

My own philosophy - start with love and let it grow. Even if you can't directly contribute to the disaster relief effort - there are many people who need your love all around you. They could be in your kitchen, in the house next door, driving that car in front of you, organized into a soccer team that needs a coach, walking down the sidewalk with a heavy load - you have a chance to make a difference for everyone you meet. It can also mean starting to love yourself. I can't remember who said "Do what you can, where you are, with what you have." But it is a great truth that positive action creates a positive growth cycle, spinning and expanding and gaining energy until it is as powerful as anything nature can throw at us.

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I've just read a fantastic book by Erica Helm Meade, called Tell It By Heart. In it there's a telling of the Eurynome creation myth. It's a great story that emphasizes that actual creative acts are only one part of the process of creation. There are other stages like rest, chaos, failure, contemplation, revision, that are an equally essential part of it. And in order to brave all of these stages, one must have commitment.

In these days of sorrow and grief as I wonder why death has visited so often this month, I need to remember that creativity has many moods. As my sponsor has said to me so many times, "Don't just do something, sit there!" Action taken without a gut directional feeling is not helpful. I am totally committed to walking with gifted people as they discover their own inner strength and resources. I need to trust that my own process will reveal itself to me in time. As I wait I will do my filing! And probably eat some chocolate and cry a little, and do a bit of raging. My time will come.

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Eurynome

Today I just want to go back to school - you know, that lovely place where achievement is measured and you know what's expected of you. Granted, the work is all useless, but at least it ends and then you get the summer off and come back to new things next year.

As a small business owner it's mpossible for me to give myself pats on the back because as soon as I've completed something, all the other tasks start yelling for attention. Additionally, my email is always full of sales ads telling me that if I would only get myself together I could be a millionaire in six months. In this environment it is hard to feel like I am accomplishing anything. I know, boo-hoo for the entrepreneur who can take a nap anytime she wants.

Yesterday my boyfriend made me some desk trays and I spent a happy morning filling them up with all the papers scattered on my desk. Now I can actually see my desk and I know where the very important pieces of paper are. It makes me feel incredibly efficient.

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