Overexcitable

I've asked my boyfriend and he's pretty sure there's no disasterous communication breakdown between us. I'm curious, though, and will collect more data from friends.

I'm fascinated by how screwed up messages can get between people. What an enormous amount of heartache it causes, especially for those with strong empathy. No surprise that some people opt out of society completely. On one level, yes, we're all social animals - but on another we're all spiritual beings in human form. If you're living at the spiritual level much of the time, the temptation to stay there and not deal with the world is great.

For me, though, somehow running off into eternal bliss seems a bit selfish. Gotta do what I can while I'm here.

Technorati tags: miscommunication dropout

I had a real surprise today when I listened to a voicemail I had left myself reminding me to do something. (Does anyone else do this?! It's one of my top tips for keeping all the things I'm juggling on track.) Anyway, when I was leaving the message, at one point I took a huge pause as I was thinking about something else and changing track to a different emotional level. I did this deliberately to make a specific point to myself when I heard it again.

When I picked up the message later, I listened for the pause....and there wasn't one! No noticeable difference in tempo. I am *amazed*. I had no idea that there might be such a huge difference between my experience of speech and the actual sound of what I say.

Now that I know, what to do? How many conversations have been warped by this? Hundreds? Thousands? Am I not leaving any space for other people to follow me when I change track? This is wild. I want to think about it for a few days, then start experimenting! Watch this space.

Technorati tags: voicemail sensory interruption

I love it when life just clicks along, wind in my hair, spit on my face, eyes scrunched up cos it's so bright. I'm getting published in MC², Mensa Canada's Journal. I'm thrilled! I'm trying to be all modest and cool about it, but it's not working. As soon as anyone asks me "What's new?" or any other inquiry on my life, I blurt it out with a huge grin on my face and prepare to receive lashings of compliments. It's an article on perfectionism, and you can read it here: http://www.lionlifecoaching.com/MC2%20AugSep%202005.pdf
Let me know what you think.

Anyway it's yet another gorgeous day here in Vancouver and I'm working, working, working - and I'm happy, happy, happy. Strange how I don't mind (quite so much) doing really dull tasks like writing letters and bookkeeping when it's in service of The Vision.

Musing today about offering services to companies with gifted employee problems. Don't know how that might look, but I'm sure educating the company on what the "problem" is would be heavily involved. The whole thing is so much bigger than just the gifted employee and their behaviour. They are the Identified Patient, kicking against the system - just like family counselling!

Technorati tags: gifted employees published
perfectionism

Some days I get to thinking I'm wrong, and everyone else is just like me. It happens in two situations; either I'm spending the day completely in gifted company (real, virtual, or authorial), or everyone I meet feels isolated, disenfranchised, and weird.

What is this crazy drive to fit in? It must have roots in survival - whenever one is helpless (infancy, illness, inebriation for example) the social group is the safety net. We don't want to stick out, because that might mean we're intruders. How can we expand the definition of society? Is it biological destiny, which must be educated out of every one of us?

Technorati tags: gifted isolation

I've been contacting some schools today to tell them about my fantastic workshops for gifted kids. Reading through the websites really brought back memories of my old schools and gave me a sinking feeling in my tum. I remembered what it felt like to be gifted yet have no idea that was the source of so many of my "problems". I really want to stop that from happening to this generation of gifted kids! Let's normalize their experience, too!

I was also really struck by the language on the websites of the private schools. Some parts of it are very coach-like, not surprisingly. The emphasis on individual growth seems so wierd when juxtaposed with various versions of "school spirit". From my experience at school and at work, it is dangerous to believe what an organization says about itself is a true reflection of its day-to-day reality for employees/students. Coming closer to the ideals of the organization is vital for sustainable growth. Hopefully things have changed.

Technorati tags: gifted school

I've realized that I have a little shadow belief that as soon as I stick my neck out I will be shot down by the media or the establishment or some nameless enemy. This is exciting because now I can talk back to the little gremlin and forge ahead. Fear is the mind killer. All I need is a helmet and a bulletproof vest and I'll be fine. As Goethe said "Boldness has genius, power and magic in it."

I don't think of myself as a timid person, and doubt that I would be characterized as such by anyone who knows me. Yet I still have so many ghosts! I pluck them out one by one, hold them up to the light, and see the spark of wisdom they offer. Thanking them, I lay them aside, for there is much to do before I have time to listen to their circular ramblings again.

Technorati tags: shadow belief Goethe

Been thinking a lot about business and how to make it work. It's good that there are lots of little things I can do to increase my profile. I can't believe how many businesses are selling things about how to be successful! It's really incredible how many people are out there marketing to coaches. Even though I know I've already got a lot of information, it's so tempting to believe that this book or teleclass or seminar will radically increase sales! I'm not saying they don't have value - just that they are often presented as a magic bullet. The way to increase sales is to do lots of boring chores like making databases and cold calls and doing market research, and at the root that's exactly what the books are saying too.

Good thing I've got such awesome support from Wonderbro, my boyfriend, my Buddy, and my friends. The other surprising support is the Canadian government, who have this awesome program that teaches you about business and then gives you living expenses (very low standard of living, but living) while you concentrate on getting your business going. You can read all about all the wonderful programs offered in BC at http://www.smallbusinessbc.ca/pdf/overview.pdf. We all have our challenges but this list convinces me that some of the bureaucrats have their heart in the right place.

Technorati tags: entrepreneur sales

Hey, google bot, nice algorithm! Wanna come check out my site? Come on....it's orange....so pretty....

There's so much to see on the internet, it's not surprising that the bots get tired and need ever more enticements to visit. Wonderbro assures me that they will get to me in about a week.

Wrote a sales letter today and got sidetracked when looking for a good quote on the Davidson Institute site http://www.ditd.org/public/. There's really some great people working in this field and it is fantastic to know that there are people as passionate as I am about meeting the needs of gifted people http://www.gt-cybersource.org/Record.aspx?NavID=2_0&rid=12366.
There's hope, and I'm not alone - and it's my mission to let all gifted people know that.

Technorati tags: gifted community

# posted by jo_jo @ 4:18 PM 0 comments

Wonderbro has filled my head with blog knowledge. I have the key! Mwah-ha-haaa!

He said I should let you, dear reader, know that you have the option to post comments anonymously. I would love to hear from you. Yes, you. What do you notice? What causes veins to pop out in your neck? Do you have any questions?

Technorati tags: WonderBro anonymity

Met with my "buddy" yesterday to make some commitments. I've found that having told her I will do something by our next meeting greatly increases the likelihood that I will actually do it. I refuse to judge myself for using this kind of rat-in-a-maze behavioural modification. It's simple, free, and highly effective, three of my favourite qualities in anything.

Using today's anxiety about business being slow as fuel. I've found that nothing motivates me more than not having enough to do. I could be actively worrying about becoming a bag lady, or creating a fight with my boyfriend, or any other non-optimal situation, but I choose instead to use all that energy to solve a problem or get through a complicated but boring chore (like setting up a contact database and learning how to add metas to my website). Having been told so often that "it's just the way you are", I feel very smug knowing it's not true. I can choose my reaction! Yay!

Technorati tags: anxiety behavioural modification

Too angry yesterday to post. I'm having a hard time processing the rage that comes from having to keep translating everything into "appropriate" language. I've got to complain about it somewhere and so you, dear reader, are hearing about it.

I am pissed off that the majority of the pop-psych and even academic psych literature out there does not even recognize some of the things that are part of my deep truth. I am upset by the prejudice against the possibility of high IQ people needing help or being disadvantaged. And the requirement for gifted people to fit into society's pre-determined patterns to be valued actually makes me nauseous. For a really good exposition of what giftedness can do to a life, and how society can destroy it, check out the fantastic animated short "Ryan".

I wish for a way to show up in this social world that is acceptable even if it is strange. I think it's desperately unfair that fitting in comes so naturally to others. Is it surprising that I find social situations exhausting? It's like playing chess on 20 different boards.

Anyway, I'm continuing to work where I can, and I'm taking it out on the elliptical trainer at the gym, and kneading pizza dough with a vengeance. At the very least this rage will be productive.

Technorati tags: gifted Ryan
social skills

It's a gorgeous day here in Vancouver and I'm off out to enjoy the city. Started reading Goleman's Emotional Intelligence and it's pissing me off. So, I'm going to take it to a cafe, order plenty of coffee, and nail down exactly why I'm so mad. Clearly from Goleman's assessment I could use the practice.

I'm pretty sure it's got something to do with his attitude that high IQ is largely independent of high EQ, but EQ is a better predictor of success in our society. I think it's the idea that a normative set of emotional skills are "better". Anyway at least it's fuel for the article mill, and gives me an excuse to revisit the awesome Rodin exhibit at the VAG. The Balzac series is cool.

Technorati tags: EQ Rodin

Some days, things just seem harder. I read another book about depression in children and adolescents and they didn't even mention high IQ as a possible cause. Not a single word about it.
As GBS said, "Indifference is the essence of inhumanity." Perhaps society simply can't accept that people are different. That would fit with the reduction of benefits for the mentally disabled. To me, being fair and treating everyone equally are not the same thing.

What can I do? Write, blog, complain, speak up, speak out, do my work, run my business, be myself. Respond reasonably to the same criticisms over and over again, and not lose faith that my perceptions are valuable and necessary. Remember all the kids who don't think they have a right to a voice, and all the adults who are playing the game because that's the only way they know how to survive in this society. And keep on showing up.

Technorati tags: depression high IQ

Ah, so many adventures to be had in technology. I recently joined the rest of my generation and purchased a cell phone - for purely business purposes, of course. And my worst fears have been realized.

We quickly formed a connection based on the fact that Dewey (yes, he has a name) is such a great listener. In fact he will repeat my words for me verbatim at the touch of a button. We had such laughs over his variety of humorous ring-tones, his version of "Mr. Roboto" bringing tears of joy. He never fails to give me my messages, he remembers the names of all my friends, and he always apologizes if he can't give me service.

Yes, I'm in love with my cell phone, and we're joined at the hip. I gush embarrassingly about his great qualities to anyone who will listen. This means you!

Technorati tags: cell phone

A lot of people have been recommending that I start a blog. They think it will stop me talking so much if I write everything down all the time. They might be right.

I can't imagine that my insane meanderings through the world will be of interest to anyone but me. I love my life and I think that anything that keeps me more concious is useful. This is also the argument I use to justify daily reading of my horoscope in two different newspapers.

So let's just go for it and see what happens. I'm starting my own business right now and I'm excited, but scared. Once, my dad was giving me a driving lesson and we stopped at a gas station and filled up, oil, etc. About 10 minutes later the oil light comes on, Dad's a bit confused and asks me to pull over. He opens the hood and there's oil everywhere. He proceeds to yell and stuff for a while and imply that I'm an idiot because I didn't put the oil cap back on. Well, if I'd have known it was that important I would have! No-one explained it to me! I had no idea how the thing worked!

So with starting this business, I'm learning all I can, but I know that somehow I'm going to leave the oil cap off.

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