Friday, July 28, 2006
The Magic Land
Ireland, and particularly Sligo, is beautiful - pictures don't do it justice, and everything you have heard about the magic and power of the place is true. There are rainbows daily and surprises around every corner. I climbed up lots of hills to meditate and felt the history of the place. I could have spent the whole week simply being there.
As it was, this intense sense of place was vital to my ability to really connect with my mum. Making sure I supported myself with meditation, connection, and walking in such inspiring scenery gave me a new and limitless strength. It was great to really listen to her, to offer her all my love and vulnerability - and it had the most surprising effect of taking the emotional charge out of my reactions to her. Previously, I would spiral away from her into an old pattern of making up what she meant by what she said. This time, I checked in with her whenever her words or actions might have led me to create distance between us. Or, I simply heard her words and was able to choose not to react, but to come back to her with love.
I feel as if I actually got to know my mother better, even though I feel certain that there is a whole part of her walled off, not just from me, but even from herself. I rediscovered that it is impossible to really love someone and wish that they would change; I knew this about romantic partners, but hadn't made the connection to family or the wider world. Accepting her just as she is, loving her madly and offering her everything I have, has changed our relationship and changed me. Standing in a place of unconditional love gives me unlimited strength and capacity. It is the key to everything! This is an ancient spiritual concept that I understand in a new, deeper, active way.
I am in awe of the power of being open and paying attention and holding an intention. What an incredible gift this week was.
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