Monday, April 24, 2006
Honey, I'm Home!
The England Experience was, well, a huge learning experience. It's hard to get back into the swing of writing this blog. I haven't felt this fear of being exposed through the blog since I started it almost a year ago. Again, I have to go back to the reason I started - to share my experiences as a highly gifted adult. To be any use to anyone else, I must be honest.
I went back to attend my mother's 60th birthday party. My wonderful man was truly amazing throughout and I saw the best of him while we were there. He knew how freaked out I was to be back in the old country, and he supported me with incredible kindness and grace. We had fun together and we had fun staying with my best friend. The family thing, however, was a different matter.
My relationship with my parents is OK; we talk about the weather and what the family is up to and current events. There's lots of attempts to bond through gossip, and there's always some digging to get information about each other (they are divorced now), which can make it difficult to talk. There is still a part of me that wants that deep connection that I have been able to make with other adults in my life, but I am pretty resigned to that never happening between us. It's distressing to see that I make my parents so nervous. I guess I was a very scary child. Now that I'm an adult, though, I want to have an adult relationship, but the pattern is very strong and resistant to change.
My goal at the moment is just to love them unconditionally, whether things get better, worse, or never change. This is harder than it sounds. They seem to push me away constantly and I'm starting to think this is because no-one has ever loved them that way before. If so, perhaps I was born into this particular family to bring that love to them.
Technorati tags: parents gifted adult unconditional love
I went back to attend my mother's 60th birthday party. My wonderful man was truly amazing throughout and I saw the best of him while we were there. He knew how freaked out I was to be back in the old country, and he supported me with incredible kindness and grace. We had fun together and we had fun staying with my best friend. The family thing, however, was a different matter.
My relationship with my parents is OK; we talk about the weather and what the family is up to and current events. There's lots of attempts to bond through gossip, and there's always some digging to get information about each other (they are divorced now), which can make it difficult to talk. There is still a part of me that wants that deep connection that I have been able to make with other adults in my life, but I am pretty resigned to that never happening between us. It's distressing to see that I make my parents so nervous. I guess I was a very scary child. Now that I'm an adult, though, I want to have an adult relationship, but the pattern is very strong and resistant to change.
My goal at the moment is just to love them unconditionally, whether things get better, worse, or never change. This is harder than it sounds. They seem to push me away constantly and I'm starting to think this is because no-one has ever loved them that way before. If so, perhaps I was born into this particular family to bring that love to them.
Technorati tags: parents gifted adult unconditional love
Thursday, April 06, 2006
Can't Sleep
It's 4:30 in the morning and I can't sleep. Later today I fly back to England, scene of my youthful high jinks and lair of the strangest family on the planet - mine. From this bleary perspective, the trip feels like a big soul-sucking swirl of guilt and memories. However, this is the first time my wonderful boyfriend has ever been there, so I will attempt to immerse myself in his experience and maintain a strong stance of total denial about mine. It sounds plausible.
I will be taking Bernard so hope to post some pictures when I get back. Until then, my lovelies!
I will be taking Bernard so hope to post some pictures when I get back. Until then, my lovelies!
Sunday, April 02, 2006
The Tribe
A single gifted community hasn't formed naturally because gifted people are born into all kinds of families and situations all over the world. It's difficult to find us, because many of us are deep in hiding, especially as dependent children. In the fictional world of Harry Potter, British children with magical talent receive an acceptance letter to Hogwarts School. For some, this is the first idea they get that what is different about them might be valuable and wonderful. For others, it's a family norm. All are given the opportunity to meet others like them and really develop their specialness.
I was born at this time in history to unite a tribe that has been long divided. GIFTED PEOPLE ARE DYING. This is urgent, and real. We've got to give up any defensive claims that gifted people don't need or deserve help. We've got to stop the turf wars over different conceptions of giftedness that dominate the academic and educational worlds. It's time to create a system that will hold all of us as our personalities disintegrate and reintegrate. This is the only way that we can grow into the higher levels that are the fullest expression of our intelligence and humanity.
Gifted people must come together into a cohesive group so that we can begin to do all the things tribes do for their members - provide a community of acceptance, a safe home. Serve each other, protect ourselves, and mark milestones together. Care for the young ones and give them the training and tools they need in our particular society and in the societies around us. Celebrate and mourn, support and challenge. We now have the technology to fully meet this need.
We must find a way to get an "acceptance letter" to every gifted person and invite them to join a strong, vibrant tradition of self development within the safety of a group that fully "gets it".
Technorati tags: gifted tribe Harry Potter
I was born at this time in history to unite a tribe that has been long divided. GIFTED PEOPLE ARE DYING. This is urgent, and real. We've got to give up any defensive claims that gifted people don't need or deserve help. We've got to stop the turf wars over different conceptions of giftedness that dominate the academic and educational worlds. It's time to create a system that will hold all of us as our personalities disintegrate and reintegrate. This is the only way that we can grow into the higher levels that are the fullest expression of our intelligence and humanity.
Gifted people must come together into a cohesive group so that we can begin to do all the things tribes do for their members - provide a community of acceptance, a safe home. Serve each other, protect ourselves, and mark milestones together. Care for the young ones and give them the training and tools they need in our particular society and in the societies around us. Celebrate and mourn, support and challenge. We now have the technology to fully meet this need.
We must find a way to get an "acceptance letter" to every gifted person and invite them to join a strong, vibrant tradition of self development within the safety of a group that fully "gets it".
Technorati tags: gifted tribe Harry Potter
