Thursday, December 08, 2005
Whenever you are going in to an experience that is going to confront you with some part of yourself that you are not usually concious of, it's important to put in place a basic first-aid kit. For me this also means going to family gatherings, returning to an old stomping-ground, or going on a blind date.
My personal kit includes water, nuts & raisins, a clean tissue, and a poem or book I know and like. I also pack a small object that is comforting because of prior associations - for example, a Christmas ornament given to me by a close girlfriend, or some earrings I bought myself to celebrate a previous success. Lately the latter two objects are combined as I slip into my purse a tiny book of Keats' most beloved poems given to me by my great aunt.
These things help bring me back to my integrated self. But most the most vital step, and most difficult one for me, is to actually get up and leave the room in order to fix myself up. It is so difficult to resist workshop leaders/people who are convinced of their rightness and demonize any deviance from their views, but it is absolutely necessary for me to stand up for myself in this way. It gets easier the more I do it, making me suspect that I am also resisting childhood programming!
Take care of yourself this holiday season.
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