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Wednesday, December 28, 2005



I had a really great Christmas in many ways. My wonderful boyfriend gave me a digital camera! It's a cool piece of equipment, many features and functions. I have named him Bernard, reasoning that it will be more difficult to leave him places now that he is personified. So far, it's working! He hangs cosily around my neck in his fleece-lined pouch until I need him. Once I have figured out how to get the pictures out of Bernard, onto the computer, and onto the blog, I will show you what we've been up to.

In other news, Christmas really sucked. I fell into an emotional storm that's common for me at this time of year. I feel an alienation to the materialism of this society, which I think is common to many. More painful is the reaction of family and friends to news about my business and the personal choices I've made as I grow. In comparision to their norms, I am living life as an extreme sport! I wasn't prepared for their negativity, which they have no hesitation about expressing to me. By being a true individual I'm breaking cultural rules, and their comments are partly due to their need to reinforce their own behaviours and values. While I know this, and I'm confident that I'm doing what's right for me, their rejection still hurts.

I think I am very threatening to many people in this world, but I simply cannot let it stop me from doing what I was born to do. I am blessed to live in a country where I am free to pursue my own method of self-actualization. I am blessed to have people who do understand and support me as I walk this path. My crazy life can represent a call for others to develop in their own unique way. Not everyone is ready to hear it!

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I hear you! Kick ASS anyway.

Gosh I think you're doing a fine job. Why the sensitivity towards familial ideals?
Hello Jo: It is anonymous 2 here. Just wanted to say hi and give you support. Some people (including family members) do not understand or want to understand your giftedness. Always remember where the source of the negativity is coming from and have pity on them for being unenlightened. Just because you have family does not mean you have to like them. Also maybe it is time to find other friends that are more like-minded (and fun to be with).

One of the drawbacks of Christmas is the required obligation to spend time with family members that we do not want to see during the rest of the year. Yucky. Thank god that Christmas is only once a year.

Take care
Thanks for the support!
No matter how mature or educated we become, for some reason we still look to our family for validation and approval. If I could tell you how to not do this, I would be rich. I certainly have not figured it out. I just remind myself constantly that it is my life, my choices, and my consequences.

It beats working in a factory, shoveling fries, or driving a dump truck. When I look at those faces that way instead of sisters, brothers, and mothers, I know I am the sane one.

Chin up....and kick ass.
Seasonal Affective disorder?
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