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Tuesday, November 08, 2005


What makes you a confident person?

I was asked this question today at a look-see at Womyns' Ware. The answer I came up with in the moment was self-knowledge. Then I went home and thought about it a bit more.

My confidence comes from knowing that no matter what happens I will be all right. Even if my careful plans and fondest dreams don't materialize, I will always find my way. There is an incredible freedom in knowing that. It allows me to take risks and be grateful for the consequences, come what may. But I only know this because I have already tried and failed so many times.

If life is a huge room, most people camp in the middle with all the others and go to the far corners maybe once or twice. Gifted people will find out where the walls are, play with the climate control system, and try to bust out of the room as soon as they figure out it is a prison. When a person leaves the comfortable and familiar, it's scary for everyone involved. Having a coach nodding, smiling, handing them tools for their escape and waiting for them on the other side helps; but having the drive and courage to leave the middle of the room comes from the heart. True confidence is forged by passing through the white heat of fear.

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No walls. Infinity in every direction.
Sphere of energy with no bounds.
I love the imagery you have used here. I laughed out loud at the thought of how nervous I have made (continue to make) so many people by fiddling with the controls. I have no fear of the rooms beyond only excitement centered around getting there and learning new controls and then moving on again.

Also, the prison analogy couldn't be more precise. So many around me see the constructs of a home and security and wonder aloud how it couldn't be enough! I see only what it is keeping me from, so much it makes me ache inside my own skin, crawling and clawing my way out!

I have always (always) felt this way. Recently I have learned that it is okay. It makes me smile, of course.
Jo-Jo, hello. I found my way here from Rob's blog and the discussion on "gifted as a curse".

My experience is that we know there's a huge unexplorered world out there and we get restless and have to break out to experience it. The fear of remaining in this room is infinitely greater than any fear of the outside. We don't have a choice; we have to try.

Thanks for your posts. They are a new world to explore and I'm off on my first foray.
A lifetime of experience, both positive and negative, have helped me to build confidence. I am comfortable with myself. I have a pretty good idea who I am, what I want and what I have. I have also come to accept that everything changes and you must try to go with the flow, however strong or uncomfortable that flow might be for you.

Everyone has moments of uncertainty. Confidence comes from knowing you can work through those moments.
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