Overexcitable

So strange to be back in a school again, as I'm no longer a student and I'm not really a teacher. I'm facilitating this workshop in a precarious half-light, being neither one thing or another, trying to balance all the relationships it involves. Exquisite sensitivity to social nuances, and the reality of the school environment, makes this a lot to deal with. Not being anchored in a traditional role makes it harder to fend off unwelcome emotions. I've been doing a lot of crying and shaking over the past few nights; I have to process the day before I can move on.

I often fall prey to nightmares after doing improv; it seems to unlock a part of myself that my brain usually works hard to keep under hidden. Other improvisors have told me this is common, and I believe it is actually one of improv's greatest treasures. Yet I feel less and less in the world and more at the mercy of my imagination after improv class. Having a fiercely protective boyfriend and equally staunch rottweiler at my side helps enormously, especially when they are both so good at making me laugh!

They often point out to me, in their own idiosyncratic ways, how my desire to do a perfect job gets in the way of enjoying the process. Despite all my gains in self-knowledge, I usually need to hear that I need not get things 100% "right" to be a success. I am the person, now is the time, and giving everything I've got is enough.

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